Living a perfect life on Social Media and gaining followers have become obsessions with so many people these days. Snapchat filters, amazing camera effect, fast fashion where you can have a different outfit everyday and snapshots of a happy moments posted on Instagram and other social media platforms.

You can choose to portray beauty and the perfect life even when you are in the midst of despair and living a life full of pain, loneliness and rejection, no one will even know. You bow to the pressure of posting happiness and fulfilment because you are afraid of showing your ‘follower friends’ the real you and the life you are living. You want the life someone else posts on their story and so you capture a moment in time that compares with those you follow.

Why are we afraid to let people in, to be vulnerable and honest, to share the natural rhythms of life? Are we afraid of being judged, of not fitting in, of loosing friends and of being cast aside? Why do we need friends we have never spoken to?

Actually step back and ask the question…why do I even need to post anything on Social Media? What is my reason? Who do I hope is listening? What would I do with that stolen time if I could take it back? How would I engage with people. Where would I find people to ‘click like’ or comment on my life if I didn’t share something?

I can’t answer these questions for you…but as I ponder, I do wonder if what we really are searching for is acceptance, friends who are present and speak encouragement and life over you. People who tell you when you do something well, who cheer you on, who sit beside you when you make mistakes and still love you. Those who send cards on your birthday and pop round when you are ill? It is their ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ which can be trusted.

A couple years ago I removed my birthday from Facebook as an experiment …. so no one got a notification that it was my birthday and 3 people wrote on my timeline…..my real friends sent me cards and flowers…sometimes they were a few days late but that was worth more than 150 people wishing me happy birthday because it popped up on their FB page. You see real friends are not made via social media, real friends don’t wish me happy birthday because of a notification, real friends know when my birthday is (most of the time!!!). Real friends love me no matter what I look like, how I feel and whether I’ve got it together or not. They cheer me on without jealousy or comparison just like I take delight in their successes and want to be there in the different seasons of their lives.

Have we confused what a friend is and substituted hundreds of followers (who only let you see what they want) for a few who walk beside you? Is this one of the reasons there is so much loneliness and endless comparison which steals your joy?

I confess I am an Instagram fan so I asked myself why? For me it is a way to connect with those who are far away like my niece in North Carolina posting a short video of her beautiful boys and watching as they grow, or finding new recipes to cook, listening to my real friend Mary as she posts her Wisdom Wednesday and cheering her on. I also like sharing things that are important to me like my Faith, it is an opportunity to share with people who don’t know the God I know, who don’t know how much He loves them, to encourage those who are struggling in their walk with God, reminding them that we have a good good Father…..you see we can all use it to encourage and inspire people but it should never be the place we go to for comfort, for affirmation, for direction because while a lot of what is shared is good, it is not spoken by someone who knows and loves you, who wants the best for you and is choosing to invest in you.

True friends are gentle and kind, honest and faithful, they are not focused on external beauty, rather they see your inner beauty, the beauty of words that build you up, the beauty of a smile that shifts the trajectory of you day, the beauty of a text that reminds you someone has you held in their heart, the beauty of a thank you that shows you were seen, the beauty of time given in a busy goal centred world.

I’m not telling you to come off Social Media but I am reminding you that finding a few close friends who walk their journey alongside you are worth so much more than 500 ‘follower friends’. Cultivate those friendships, and be to them, the type of friend you are searching for.

Social Media can make you feel inadequate, that you haven’t achieved enough, that you are not able but friends in proximity will encourage you to be so much more than you think you can be.

As I finish I want to remind you of a Beautiful Saviour who is your friend and of a verse that reminds us that He is an abundant God who never minds when we fail or make mistakes but rather is waiting with arms wide open for us to run to Him.

John 10:10 TPT

A thief has only one thing in mind, he wants to steal, slaughter and destroy, but I (God) have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect, life in its fulness until you overflow.

If you want to follow someone, follow Him